Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
