Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
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