I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
