you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize