ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
