Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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