You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
