I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Randomize
