2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
