Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize