when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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