Tell her she can't have a vagina
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
