he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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