i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
