I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
