you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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