You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
