dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
