Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Semen is not good for contacts.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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