Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
