I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
As shirtless as possible
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
