The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize