that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
