u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
