god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Randomize
