you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Randomize