real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
