So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Randomize
