I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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