Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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