Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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