I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
