i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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