Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
