we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I have peed in a lot of sinks
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize