No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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