Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Randomize
