u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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