i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
