sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
