I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
