this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
