i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
