I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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