You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Randomize
