i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
