Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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