I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize