I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
