Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
