Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
so explain again why im purple
no
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
