if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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