I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
