i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize