I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
