so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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