Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
