Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
