The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize